I love the dark

I love the dark
Because all my reponsibilities fade away
I love the dark
Because i see clearer than i see during day
I love the dark
Because i can be who i am and want to be
I love the dark
Because it's the only time my thoughts run free
I love the dark
Because it keeps me silent and divine
I love the dark
Because then I know you are mine
I love the dark
Because it is just me and you
I love the dark
Because even through darkness I know you see me too.

Rejection

Ouch. It hurts. Now I dont have a lot of experience but I suppose being stood up feels the same just that the feeling doesnt last as long ( thats just my opinion by the way ). I personally believe no one deserves to be treated like this and if you are planning on not going to e.g. the cinema with them just tell him/her. The feeling of rejection I believe is one of the most powerful feelings and is a feeling that a lot of people mess with. Take the X-Factor. When they tell the contestants wether their through to the live shows or not they say so many things implying their not and then surprise them with a yes. Some see this as oh its so nice their taking him/her to the shows. In reality though they have been playing with these peoples emotions non stop and it just keeps on continuing. When has it become acceptable to do something like that? Just like when has it become acceptable to mess with someones emotions in a relationship? The feeling of rejection can really be applied to any situation. Its the feeling you get when your bullied at school, when you are stood up, when you are not seen by the person you really like and when you are dumped. There are so many more situations, too many to mention. It can be so powerful and hurtful that it drives certain people to do stupid things (and i think we all know what I mean with this). Personally I do believe sometimes you have to create this "armour" to be able to handle that, however that still doesnt make it ok. And that my friends is what some people forget. Just because the boy you bullied everyday doesnt respond anymore does also not mean you can just continue non-stop.

The stressing virus

Heyah guys. So since some of you know I am in sixth form (finally!) and enjoying the little bit of extra freedom that I have gained. I remember at the beginning me and all of my friends were so happy because we felt like we had accomplished something big (GCSE results yay) and were on the path to...well to succes I suppose. The first few weeks were amazing and we were enjoying it so much. However we are slowly starting to feel the pressure of this extra responsibility and freedom. Right now we are in about the 9th week of sixth form and people are slowly rotting away inside. More and more homework is set and exams are coming closer...even though they are in June/July. We feel like now is the time to prepare for the future and like we should know what we want to do. I had a long conversation with my friend about this and we both noticed that instead of actually working on what we had to achieve now we were only worrying about what was to happen in the future. With sixth form more comes to show than just responsibility. Of course now that we are more mature we have a different kind of life style and parties become more of a normal and everyday / every weekend thing. This means that subconciously, I believe, we have lost a part of what we used to do which was just hanging out and chat for a few hours. This means that we now feel all of this pressure on our shoulders of having to decide everything now while knowing that we are still in an economic depression and that unemployment rates are still incredibly high and feeling like we have lost a part of our childhood. However there is always a way around all of this stress that just keeps on building up inside everyone, apparently. One of my friends actually came with a very good idea: 

"you shouldnt regret the past or worry and stress about the future"

We should be happy that we have the chances that we have to improve our chances of having a good job later even during this economic depression and the sudent fees etc. We need to stick together and enjoy that little extra freedom and that extra responsibility. I believe by embracing what you have now it is a lot easier to have a good time and to enjoy the time that we are in now.

 



High romantic standards

Why hello everyone. Long time no see..read..thing. So even though i have been offline for a bit a lot has happened. Many things that have made me think about girls..in a non sexual way may i add. Many of girls out there have incredibly high hopes and standards when it comes to "love". Personally I am starting to believe less and less in it but I know there are some out there who still want mr. Darcy to show up at their door at dawn and propose. However I am starting to realize more and more that that is not going to happen. I sometimes have the wildest imagination ( non sexual again). Seeing "the one" walking towards me and telling me he loves me like mr. Rochester tells Jane. Or having the kind of love like Noah and Ally. But the more ideas i get the more I start to understand the impact these ideas and the following dissappointment have on me. I seriously watch to many films like the Notebook, Jane Eyre etc. Sometimes I seriously think we should just ban the whole genre in general. Its just incredibly depressing to me. Due to having watched so many of these films girls are just starting to dislike their partners because "he didnt build a house for me like Noah did" etc. All I can say is: guys I am so sorry you have to deal with this at times. It must be so frustrating. Women , I believe, are starting to underappreciate their partners due to those kind of films and books like fifty shades of grey.... I think we need to stop watching these films over and over again and need to be more open to what romance in the real world is like and to all thats out there. I think it would make life a lot easier for is girls and the guys in the real world we life in.

Gossip gossip gossip

Gossip...
Its something that i think we have all done during our time at school. I also think we all know there has been gossip at a time about ourselves. The funny thing with gossip is that we all hate it when its about us but L-O-V-E to be part of it. Only a small amount of people can resist the urge to quickly tell a friend something about someone. However what I wonder is why is it so appealing? We all know why gossip hurts already. Its the fact that people know or think they know something about you but you dont know what it is. But what makes gossip the main topic during sleepovers? Is it the fact that due to peer pressure we have to be "perfect" during school and so let all that annoys us out at other times. Or is it that we feel like we have to talk about others to fit in? My conclusion:
" we talk about others to feel better about ourselves"
I believe that due to social pressures we always think about how we look, what we say and who we hang out with. This however just causes many to be perfect at pointing out their own flaws. I keep thinking that we are just so jealous of so many that gossiping brings us inner joy as we forget about our own flaws and can point out others's. What we can do about it? Personally i would like to say its as easy as just accepting our flaws and stop finding joy in analyzing others's. I and many others know how it feels to be gossiped about especially if the gossip is untrue. However it is not that easy. It will take time and more than just a few people to co-operate. How long this will take? I have no bloody idea.

Falling in love with the impossible

Hey y'all. Is everyone prepared for a deep blog?? Yeah me neither so I'm gonna try to keep this simple and not too over dramatic. However since (as everyone knows) I am an over dramatic person you will find this ,hopefully, amusing. So school has started (yay) and many new people have been inhabiting the school. I personally always love the beginning of school because it is a chance to meet new people and to have a fresh start and re-invent yourself. However a new year means new drama. I sometimes literally think me and my friends should be in like a reality tv-series because I mean OMG...ok anyway. And new drama includes falling in love. However while this process can be wonderful and amazing it can also be fairly annoying. Personally I think the term "falling in love" isn't really appropriate for this kind of "liking someone" but I prefer the term falling in love so I'm sticking with it. So as you can see from the title one can fall for the impossible. This could mean liking someone that you know will never...ever like you back. It could also mean falling for someone who likes you but you know you can never be together (twilight...). It could even go as far as liking someone who is taken. Now the only thing I will tell you is that one of these 3 things happened to me. How to deal with it? No freaking clue. I'm personally still trying to work it out. However I do have one tip for y'all today. When falling for the impossible realize that it is impossible. Stop dreaming about something happening that will bring you two together because the possibility of that is like..0.1%. As harsh as this may sound it will probably either:

1. save you the pain of falling and then having to get over it.
2. help you get over him/her.
3. stop you from falling for the impossible in the future. 

I know I know.. I don't give the best advice but it is the thing that helps me. But still at times I find myself still trying to convince myself; nothing is going to happen,  let it go. 
But it's not always that easy...

Relationship desperation

Oh gosh another post about relationships. I know I know however somehow it's just something that I have not been able to stop thinking about lately. I always knew I was one of these people that wanted a boyfriend and someone who really liked me etc. however I never knew that apparently I was so desperate... Seeing my friends being in really good relationships just makes me wonder if I will have something like that. Now I am not saying things like "omg I am sooo ugly omg I am never finding a bf.." ( you know that attention seeking bullshit) I just wonder this many times. And while talking to one of my friends ( they really are the best for advice ) I noticed that indeed others don't have this feeling. It's a feeling I find hard to describe but it's a feeling I just really really wanting someone there who you can always talk to but is more than a friend and who you can kiss and love. And when I noticed that others apparently can somehow get by perfectly without missing or wanting something like this really surprised me. And this time it didn't actually help me but just confused me more:

"Why am I so desperate for a boyfriend/partner??"

And while I do want to start giving answers in my blog I just can't seem to figure this one out. And I think it will take a while until I do. Until then I am just happy to know that there are friends who surround me and can help me, tell me to stop moaning or help me find someone. I really do love them haha.