"Depression"

Hi everyone...
A lot of people seem to be, as they like to say, "depressed" nowadays. It kind of seems as if no one can really be happy now. Which seems weird to me since we are entering the festive season of Christmas. However I can also in a way relate as the past few weeks have been hard. If any of my friends are reading this: I am sorry I'm being distant....blame LIFE!. But seriously a lot of people seem to be either completely stressed out, suffering from a mental or emotional breakdown or are just "depressed". I personally think you have to be a little bit careful with the word depressed since there are people that say they are "depressed" but really are just attention seekers and then there are the ones who actually suffer from depression. I keep on wondering why everyone seems to be so upset all around me when really we have so many opportunities and friends and love and ..stuff. But I wonder:

"Are so many opportunities too much? Do they put extra pressure on us to do well/better?"

Is it possible that we are put down more inside if we fail while having had opportunities? Let me explain because I feel like that sentence does not do my idea justice. In my school us (students) are provided with many opportunities to get work experience, to do volunteering or to take part in challenges etc. However what if we take some of those but they do not improve our grades? Could it then be that we feel like we are bad at everything because: "even though I get so many opportunities I still do not seem to be able to do as well as some who don't even have these opportunities?!". I hope this kind of explained it a bit. However to link this back to "depression". It could be that our self confidence just decreases due to more pressure causing us to all just feel as if we are failing at everything. I have had a rough couple of weeks and have decided to not talk about it to people because I feel like it would bother them and it is so different to the usual bubbly Leonie (or Lemonface as people like to call me ;) ). However I have noticed that if I withhold all of this information about myself to people they start to feel as if I do not take them serious as friends. This is not true. So to be able to get out of this self destructing cycle the best thing you can do is to just talk about it. Obviously not to everyone, that would be a bit weird, but talk to your friends or your parents etc. It does help.

High romantic standards

Why hello everyone. Long time no see..read..thing. So even though i have been offline for a bit a lot has happened. Many things that have made me think about girls..in a non sexual way may i add. Many of girls out there have incredibly high hopes and standards when it comes to "love". Personally I am starting to believe less and less in it but I know there are some out there who still want mr. Darcy to show up at their door at dawn and propose. However I am starting to realize more and more that that is not going to happen. I sometimes have the wildest imagination ( non sexual again). Seeing "the one" walking towards me and telling me he loves me like mr. Rochester tells Jane. Or having the kind of love like Noah and Ally. But the more ideas i get the more I start to understand the impact these ideas and the following dissappointment have on me. I seriously watch to many films like the Notebook, Jane Eyre etc. Sometimes I seriously think we should just ban the whole genre in general. Its just incredibly depressing to me. Due to having watched so many of these films girls are just starting to dislike their partners because "he didnt build a house for me like Noah did" etc. All I can say is: guys I am so sorry you have to deal with this at times. It must be so frustrating. Women , I believe, are starting to underappreciate their partners due to those kind of films and books like fifty shades of grey.... I think we need to stop watching these films over and over again and need to be more open to what romance in the real world is like and to all thats out there. I think it would make life a lot easier for is girls and the guys in the real world we life in.

The popularity game

So yes I know I am blogging a lot but its just that I feel very comfortable with blogging. So since I have not told you guys anything about me really I am thinking I will reveal something about myself in every blog. I am a so called "Youtuber". Personally I always though that the word youtuber never really fitted what I did/do because I'm not one of those that has 100,000 subscribers. I also always thought the word "youtuber" puts you into a category of certain people. Since my self-esteem had been destroyed on several occasions I always tried to fight being put into a category. To stand out and be proud of who I was. The youtube community I have to say did not make that very easy since really, yes all youtubers try to be different, but in the end aren't they all the same? Aren't we all trying to either fit in or to be different but then are always corrected to come back? It made me wonder:

"Is life just a competition?"

We are now competing for more than just popularity. We are competing for the 5 minutes of fame, for that one spot left at Uni, for that one chance to be somebody and do something meaningful. And it has slowly changed us into these creatures willing to sacrifice everything to be on top, because that is what is expected from us. To be on top of things.  The "popularity game" is a game that we all play. It is a thing we all know and are all a part of. And while playing we have no idea what it does to others. It made me think: Should I try to fit in or be one of those people that tries to stand out and be

Unique?